Saturday, February 27, 2010

Negative

Thats right. I tested 6dp5dt and 7dp5dt. Nada, nichts, nothing. It was so white it makes Mr. Rogers look latino.

Well, not much else to say. The stick said no, we are not going to have a Thanksgiving to remember. We don't have to start a college fund. We don't have to change our day to day routine.

Everything stays exactly the same only now, the never fail donor egg scenario has failed. Twice. We have one last shot from this donor. Which is also somewhat disappointing. All that money and only 6 blasts. I know, beggars can't be choosers, but I was hoping we would have enough for at least two kids. Now, we have only two frosties. I still don't know what to do about my lining. I have always had super light periods. 3-4 day and only one day has medium flow. When I was on the pill, I had no period. Maybe the estrogen is the problem. Maybe I can beg and plead the doc to do a natural cycle. I don't know why we wouldn't be able to do that. We thaw the day of the transfer and my temperature works like clockwork. With the added thought of a blood test it seems very logical. Maybe I should also try acupuncture. I have been avoiding it, mostly because having more appoints stresses me out. I have never really had to go to a doctor since I have been an adult. All these appointments and medications are so unnatural to me.

Blood test on Monday, probably won't get the results until Tuesday, but it beats paying $60 to find out that this is another bust.

Trying hard to find a bright side, but right now I am just worried about meeting my deadline on Monday so I will dive into work.

9 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry you are seeing bfns. wow - there are no words - sending you hugs and warmth and light to get you through this.

    xoxo

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  2. I'm so sorry.

    (your line about Mr. Rogers made me choke on my iced tea!!)

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  3. Goshdarnit this SUCKS! What is it with these donor egg disappointments any way? That is supposed to be the holy grail of IVF. I am sick for both of us.

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  4. It kills when the RE's encourage us to use DE and then it STILL fails.

    I am so sorry. This sucks beyond words.

    (hug)

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  5. Oh shit Maredsous, I am so so so very sorry. I wanted this to work for you and HATE that it did not. My only solace to offer is the negative I had on the same day, but today is monday, and you will know better than I what your truth is. I'm wishing on you a miracle, not shitty disappointing reality. I am just so sad for you.
    Because I am me,I am still hopeful that your next cycle will work, that they will tweak this or that and that it will just work.

    sending love to you
    Kate

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  6. I'm so sorry. I recommend acupuncture and red wine during lining building time. Good luck with your next FET. You are not walking alone on this path.

    Peace.

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  7. Hi, I am here from the LFCA. I am so sorry to hear about the negative. Somehow a BFN from a donor cycle hurts like no other BFN. I am sending you strength and hope for your next cycle.

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  8. acupuncture has been good for me, not for the one-more-appointment, but for feeling like I am DOING something-
    and maybe more estrogen priming?
    sucky all around, M, and I am so sorry. As natural a cycle as possible sounds dreamy.

    sending love,
    Kate

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